Autumnal Equinox in me

Autumn took the overnight express this year, slamming out summer with its arrival one unexpectedly chilly night across Japan, leaving the previous day’s sweltering temperatures a distant memory.  I love autumn, especially considering I never experienced one until I was 26 years old.  Autumn in Florida means a slight chill when you get out of the water, short sleeves instead of halter tops.  My first glimpse of a Japanese ginko tree remains etched across my mind’s eye, and I eagerly wait for the end of Autumn to view these majestical golden trees, preening in their Fall coats.

For some reason, this autumn that I will pass 40 years, I wonder when I will enter the true autumn of my days.  I still feel summertime most days, fresh skies and unlimited horizons, but I sometimes long for the dignified crown of gold and brown hued elegance.  A lot is happening lately in my every day that signifies dreams and hopes, cloudy aspirations and lofty fantasies more at home in youthful hearts.  While part of me yearns for the idealistically stately serenity of mid-life, I have begun to suspect life does not weather with the predictability of seasons.  Occasionally I even feel the Spring-like discovery of a child, mostly through the eyes of my own children, and I hope ultimately to keep every season inside me.

Here’s to a bit of summer in the soul, as my body inches towards the midway point of existence.

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2 Comments »

  1. Yukihiro Ishii Said:

    Dear Kosaka-san,

    Oh, what a beautifully written piece of article!

    You certainly remind me of the Marschallin of Rosenkavalier or the Comtessa of Figaro, if you allow me to quote impressive female figures of my favorite operas. Contemplative wisdom combined with a vibrant interest in life is what you will find in the next decade to come: you are in the prime of life, just like the two respectable and enchanting ladies I quote. Sure, they are the production of fiction, but their truthfulness asserts itself on stage as well as in your mind.

    As for myself, I am beginning to enter my wintry equinox at age sixty one. I must prepare myself for the unexpected course of events at large. Indeed in a matter of a half of this year, I lost three of my dear relatives: my uncle, my aunt and my wife’s sister in law. In the next decade I expect to see myself watching the sunset in a comfortably cool breeze, “mit leichten Herz und leichten Haenden”.

    By the way, I must object to your categorization: your article does not belong to “raves and rants” in any meaning of the phrase. It must be justly categorized as a “noble and thoughtful soliloquy”.

    I hope my comments do not disturb you in any way.

    This evening I am going to see Arabella at NNTT. I hope your review on this production will appear in the Opera Critic or in your blog.

    Sincerely,

    Yukihiro Ishii

    • kosakakris Said:

      Hello, Ishii san.
      Thank you sincerely for your comment — I loved what you wrote about starting your own winter. Beautifully expressed, and my condolences on your losses.

      I will imagine Arabella. I just read the libretto and wish I could go see the production, but we’ve been busy with my children’s activities lately. Take care and enjoy! Thank you for reading and supporting my writing.

      Kris


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